Hello WODDERs!
I really needed
CrossFit yesterday because I got into an argument with a colleague at the
university (Go Screaming Eagles!). We
were sitting in the student lounge inside the building for international
students when Nelson, who is from Kenya, sat up and shook his fist at the
air. “I am tired of American acts of
aggression!” he said.
At first, I
thought he’d been attacked by a fellow student.
But no he was talking about the American body politic. Nelson was angry about the American rhetoric
toward Iran. He said it was the next
Iraq, the next Afghanistan.
“That’s
bullshit!” I replied and we argued for an hour.
So when I got to
the boxer I was ready to scream and yell and do lots of box jumps in spite of
my fear of heights. I did a WOD
involving kettlebell snatches and pull-ups and front squats. It was very hard! I almost forgot about my fight with Nelson
but once I caught my breath and drank my Progenex vanilla shake I started thinking about it again. And I was still mad and I wanted to do
some other exercise, so I went up to Coach Fleming and I said, “Coach me!”
Coach Fleming is
a policeman in addition to being a fitness guru. He is handsome and has very strong shoulders. But he cannot run. Coach said he would show me the muscle up,
and so we went to the rings and he said: “You want to perform a tremendous
kip. Then, and this is very important,
you must pretend that you are making love to a beautiful woman and she is on
the ceiling.”
He talked about
ladies called Camille Leblanc-something and Andrea Ager whom I did not know, but
I imagine they will congratulate me in California when I am victorious at the
CrossFit Games.
Then Coach
Fleming demonstrated the muscle up. He
kipped, made love to the ceiling but then his left arm slipped through the
rings and it was horrifying. I thought
he was going to fall! But then my fellow
CrossFitters started shouting, “Chicken wing!
Bok bok bok! Chicken wing!” And Coach Fleming
hopped off the rings laughing and flapping his arm like it was a broken bird wing, and
going all around in circles. I have to admit
I was a little confused.
The South can be
strange.
I pretended it
was Nelson on the ceiling and I was trying to kick his face, but alas this
method of projection did not work.
I promise to become a member of the Muscle Up Club soon!
I am now wearing
an RxForTime wristband, though I feel funny wearing it because it is pink. Mr. Heath, why pink?
It is not manly! Oh well.
Love,
Rico
